How to Take a Mental Health Day

Rather than saying “my anxiety is acting up,” there are a million more entertaining ways to excuse yourself due to mental health. Here are my top 10:

  1. My amygdala is acting up
  2. I retroactively realized I’m a dumbass so we’re gonna sit that stew for a while 
  3. The serotonin cannons are misfiring
  4. I took a deep dive into my emotions and caught the bends on my way up
  5. Currently debating exceeding the doctor-recommended amount of chill pills
  6. The dopamine is acting pretty un-dope
  7. Moving from relating to 2007 Britney Spears on a spiritual level to a literal level
  8. My spirit animal transformed into a neurotic chihuahua 
  9. Today’s Co-Star is telling me I have trouble in spirituality, sex & love, work, self, and social life
  10. I have evolved into my final form; my mattress

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *